


Disco Fever and Potato Pranks

by comosusananas



Category: The Martian (2015), The Martian - All Media Types, The Martian - Andy Weir
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-03 00:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11520573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comosusananas/pseuds/comosusananas
Summary: Mindy has a new neighbor.





	Disco Fever and Potato Pranks

**Author's Note:**

> Best read while listening to disco. Here's the playlist I wrote to: 8tracks.com/pippa21336/in-your-face-neil-armstrong

Mindy Park was cooking dinner and listening to her favorite guilty pleasure: disco. Ever since Mark Watney got stuck on Mars, and she became the recipient of countless hours of disco discourse, she couldn’t help herself. Contagious beats and “groovy” lyrics caused her kitchen to become a nightly discotheque. Living in an apartment building, she didn’t usually listen too loudly, unless she’d had a particularly bad night at work.

 

That all changed when her new neighbor moved in six months ago - she never saw him, having only heard the occasional “fuck” muttered through the thin, shared walls - and she tried to keep the music down since then.

 

Suddenly, there was a fist banging on Mindy’s door, a disembodied voice yelling about disco, and an “I can smell the potatoes through the door!”

 

Mindy grabbed the first thing she spotted - her tennis racket - and slid the deadbolt open. Before she could turn the handle, her unwanted guest pushed through and a startled Mindy was knocked to the floor by the opening door, tennis racket raised.

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

Mark Watney hadn’t been back from Mars for long, when he decided he needed to get out from under the watchful eyes of the hospital nurses and his bossy friends. Having heard rumors of the on-campus apartment buildings, Mark immediately checked out and moved in. He had taken the first one available. The walls were unbearably thin - he heard almost everything his neighbor did, including her disco fetish - and he’d swear on everything he owned that smells permeated through as well. If he had to smell one more potato… 

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

Mark grabbed Mindy’s racket arm to keep her from hitting the floor, slipping the racket from her hand in the process. “What did you think you were going to do with this?”

 

Mindy blushed as she mumbled something that sounded a lot like “greater force since I’m closer to the ground,” and he laughed. It was the first laugh she’d heard from him since he moved in.

 

“A year of disco and potatoes on Mars, and this is what I live next door to.” Mark twirled the tennis racket while he stared the tiny woman down.

 

“Trust me, I’m aware of exactly how long you were stuck on Mars. I was the one who found you after all - no need to thank me.” Snatching the racket out of Mark’s slackened grip, she stuffed it unceremoniously into her front closet.

 

_ This feisty woman is the one who found me? The one I’ve been chatting with for the last 2 years?  _ Mark couldn’t believe his ears. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t realize. They never told me I wasn’t still talking to Ven. The screen always displayed ‘JPL’.”

 

“I know. Don’t worry about it - just don’t bang on my door anymore.”

 

He finally asked Mindy to stop playing that godawful disco and asked if he could please have a potato. He didn’t eat it; he murdered it. And threw it in her trash can.

 

Not one to leave the situation with such a dramatic ending, she smirked, and said “I didn’t realize the depth of your potato hate.”

 

Mark flashed her a grin and a wink, and he was out the door with nothing but a “fuck you” to keep her company.

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

3 months later…

 

After the Night of the Tuber Murder as Mindy fondly remembered it, she finally admitted her attraction to Mark. His reaction was no surprise, but when he leaned forward for a kiss, her stomach gave a flip. She swore she had a disco epiphany when their lips met, but that was something she’d never tell Mark.

 

Vaguely remembering she hadn’t eaten since breakfast, she asked if he wanted to stay for dinner; thinking of the last dinner he had interrupted in her apartment, he groaned out the words “What are you having?”

 

With a wicked gleam in her eye and an evil grin on her lips, Mindy gasped out “Potato soup!”, and rolled off the couch laughing. Mark wailed and made death noises like she’d just killed him.

 

Mark agreed to stay for dinner anyway; they didn’t have potato soup.

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

6 weeks after that…

 

Mindy was unloading groceries and as he was coming back from work, Mark asked if he could help. She had been planning this prank for weeks, and gladly accepted. Having already taken the real groceries in and put them away, Mindy opened the trunk to reveal 30 ten-pound bags of potatoes. Mark’s scream of anguish was enough of a payoff, and Mindy asked if he would like to help deliver the potatoes to the food banks around town. He shot Mindy a glare, but agreed anyway, yelling “shotgun picks music!” over his shoulder as he made his way to the passenger door.

 

Mindy couldn’t believe her luck: two pranks in one day! She would swear the stars are aligned, but she’d never admit it to Mark. She knows he’d scoff at such a superstitious thought.

 

Mark turned on the radio to discover every disco channel Mindy could find programmed into the radio. Sighing, he asked if she had any cds in the car. Mindy pointed to the glove box, waiting anxiously and trying not to grip the steering wheel too hard. Glaring holes into her skull so hard she can feel it, Mark pulled the cd organizer from the glove box, and opened it.

 

His eyes never left her face. “It’s all disco, isn’t it?”

 

Mindy couldn’t help but giggle and nod, and Mark rolled his eyes with a “fuck off, potato girl.”

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

4 months later…

 

Mark invited Mindy to dinner at his parents’ house. With butterflies in her stomach, Mindy mildly freaked out and started thinking of every excuse not to go. Then Mark grabbed her shoulders and forced Mindy to look at him. 

 

“If I can survive Mars, you can survive one dinner with my parents.”

 

Mindy rolled her eyes and kissed him, and she really can’t argue with that.

 

When they arrived at Mark’s parents’ house, Mindy barely made it to the front door before it was yanked almost off its hinges, and she found herself in the middle of a Watney sandwich.

 

Laughing, Mark snarked “I’m sure she’s not nervous anymore…”

 

Mark’s dad announced dinner, and when Mindy stepped into the dining room, she started to snicker because dead center was the largest bowl of mashed potatoes. Mark groaned out a “Why is everyone I love trying to kill me?”, but Mindy didn't say anything about the “L-word” because obviously he did if she was meeting his parents.

 

His mom snaked an arm around Mindy’s waist and said “Have you been giving Mark a hard time about potatoes, dear?”

 

Mindy sweat a little before nodding, which earned her a wink of approval, a tight squeeze, and a “Keep up the good work,” before she guided Mindy to a seat and took her usual spot.

 

Mark just glared, finally gave up, and took a spoon of potatoes to throw at Mindy bit by bit until she looked like she’d been in the middle of a school cafeteria food fight.

 

His parents loved Mindy and made her promise to come back again.

 

“Every two weeks, at least!” warned his mother as Mindy settled into the car.

 

When they returned to the apartment, he moved closer to kiss Mindy outside her door. He was an inch away from her lips when Mindy smirked and said “I thought you hated potatoes, yet here you are about to kiss the girl  _ you _ covered with them.”

 

He pulled back slightly, and faster than she thought possible, Mindy was thrown over his shoulder and Mark was working the key in the lock. As soon as the door closed, he slid the bolt, threw the keys, and headed straight for the bathroom.

 

“I can’t believe you were nervous about tonight. I think they loved you more than they love me, which is saying a lot because I’m fucking adorable.” Mark eased her off his shoulder, and pulled her closer by her hips.

 

“How humble. Shut up and kiss me.” They separated long enough to pull at the other’s clothing, and realized that Mark was just as covered in potatoes as Mindy was. He thought she looked adorable with food everywhere; she thought he would probably retaliate by putting ice down her underwear or something. Instead, he started kissing her deeply and tugging her toward the shower.

 

Mindy paused, long enough for Mark to turn questioning eyes on her. “You’re such a spud, you know that?”

 

Mark’s eyes rolled harder than he’s ever rolled them in the nine months they’ve been dating. “That’s the worst potato-related pun I’ve ever heard. Get over here, Park.”

 

“You know, I’ve watched your logs. I’ve already seen you in your naked glory.”

 

“Yeah, but you haven’t seen it in Earth gravity.”

 

And they fell, laughing, into bed, shower completely forgotten and still covered in potatoes.


End file.
